Beneath the Surface 23

Sea DAY 16th
At seven thirty I took a shower while Marrissa remained in bed. She was out for the count and still snoring. I went for breakfast and then to the back deck (a covered crew area full of ropes and metal) to practice chi-kung. That was the only way to keep me sane. Chi kung balanced your energies and enabled you to quieten your mind and remain focused. Alternatively I could take a big stick and hit something. It seemed my choices were limited and I could not find a stick.
While I was practicing on the back deck I had what I call a ‘bubble’ moment. A bubble moment was when you hit an energy blockage or emotional suppression. The bubble burst and the suppressed feelings rose to the surface. In such moments I often retched and cried. On that back deck, when the bubble burst I began to feel very upset. It was very easy to struggle with emotion and suppress it; that would not help. With such a lack of privacy all I could do was pull up my hood, pull down my baseball cap and let it out. In that moment I realised my team consisted of great people - we could have had so much fun. It was time for us to forget that we had been mislead and have as much fun as we could. I had to live for the now and live as best I could. Anger would just make me ill so I had to be mindful of my thoughts and emotions.
I cleared my mind and continued my practice, I had to let go and surrender. Everything was out of my control. When I was complete I went and sat watching the bow waves. To my right was a punch bag. Something about it made sense. Glancing around I side stepped towards it. Smack! Whack, whack, smack! I knew where my anger could be released. Whack! Ken’s face.
Whack! I thought about Robert’s self amusement and imaginary tumble weeds rolling past. Admittedly he was doing his best. He was trying to motivate us against all the odds. Whack! He was putting in a huge amount of effort in to prove a point and make the ship money. Whack! He was fighting a loosing battle and the truth was the type of photography we were providing was considered worthless. Whack, whack, WHACK! We had been given the incentive to churn out images: quantity over quality. Whack! Whack! How would Robert feel that day? Dealing with angry moods in a confined space was not good for anyone. God I hoped he’d got laid the previous night. I hoped the Swedish stewardess had developed a sudden ‘thing’ for him. That would at least put a smile on his face and the illusion of tweeting birds, floating flowers and sunshine songs would emanate from his very being as he skipped the corridors. It was possible; he had gone to the Ship’s barbeque where the Swedish stewardess was prime game (not in terms of barbequing). Of course this was reality and unfortunately I had seen her flirting with one of the waiters. Could there possibly have been a miracle? Please… Please… Please! Whack! Whack! My knuckles were red, but God did I feel better! Somehow I had to get hold of some bag gloves then I could release my fury on a regular basis on an inanimate object! WHACK!

More ship’s training.
Marrissa and I had more emergency training. To say it was disturbing was an understatement. The original film showed us how to deal with an emergency. In such a panic situation only six out of ten passengers actually reacted. Imagine a real emergency and how you would react. For me survival instinct would always kick in.
According to the training many of the passengers fell into a state of shock. What’s more it took one guest to panic and their behaviour resonated creating panic amongst the other guests. In a crowd emergency situation there was always a wise guy who thought he knew better or who would complain. His behaviour would ‘infect’ the other guests and make them question what they were advised to do. That individual had to be separated from the rest otherwise lives would be endangered.
The safety officer was the kind of man who was straight down the line. A cow was a cow not a black and white, grass chewing ruminant. What’s more he had experienced two emergencies and survived. The first was when a giant wave caused an engine black out. The waves were so massive that crew and passengers were thrown all over the ship like ping pong balls. Why did I just think of Thailand when I wrote that?
‘One of the crew was thrown two decks from a balcony,’ he said. ‘When I asked the fellow officer to hold a towel to the crew member’s head to curb the bleeding he said NO! He did not want to be near blood, he could get AIDS.’
What a caring individual. It turned out that even though the stewardess was completely damaged and laying on deck, she managed to press the towel into her own head.
‘What has the world come to?’ he said shaking his head.
Further into the training he played us a scene of a ship sinking.
‘The Greek officers don’t care about the guests and are usually the first off the ship. I know. I worked with Italian and Greek officers. In our emergency they deserted the passengers. There were only a few of us left to help,’ he said honestly. ‘The ship did not completely sink but we were close,’ he said folding his arms - remembering.
I couldn’t help but mimic and crossed my arms and legs. I didn’t like what we were being told. The DVD showed a young stewardess fighting through thick smoke to check all the staterooms. She tied a white towel to all the handles of all the cabins she checked. Once she had completed the search she could then go to her muster station. In terms of time and reality - she would die. Had anyone else noticed? Training in efficient death.
Something about the film triggered my memory of one of my previous ships. It collided with a submerged rock in Antarctica and what did the passengers do? In a state of panic they attended the buffet. What was even stranger was how not one single passenger asked me what was happening? It seemed they were in denial or extremely hungry. Wouldn’t you be curious as to why the expedition leader was standing in a passenger area wearing a bright orange survival suit looking shifty? I would.
During the disaster the officers told us to not make the emergency look like an emergency. There I stood wearing the orange survival suit, a woolly hat - reading a newspaper. It was definitely not an emergency - the reading of a newspaper stated that. The harsh reality was the survival suit enabled me forty eight hours survival. The passengers had five minutes survival time if they fell in the water fully clothed. Was it any wonder that I made my decision to return to land five years ago?
If an emergency took place the guests were initially directed to the muster stations. Muster stations were usually a lecture theatre, a lounge or a cinema. Once inside a role call was made and the passenger names were checked off the manifest. Those who were not present were reported to the bridge and a crew member was sent to find them. Everyone had to be accounted for. In an emergency there was no lift usage. Since many of the guests used wheelchairs or ‘strollers’ specific crew members were allocated to those guests; but what was expected? Did the crew carry the buggers to safety? For a pittance of pay a cruise line expected so much of the crew.
I noticed within the film a repetitive message - in fact there were five or six repeats. ‘Often crew and officers make heroic acts in emergencies,’ the voice said.
‘Often crew act heroically to help guests!’ It said a few moments later.
‘We should be able to cope with all emergencies,’ said the overly American voice. They seemed to have forgotten ‘we don’t want you to think for yourselves.’ Or, ‘you’re your life should be sacrificed for a cruise line who thinks its okay to treat you like shit!’
The problem was that the staff were taught through repetition and it seemed the messages were drummed into them.
During the break I went to the Safety officer, ‘so what is with the subliminal messaging?’ I asked.
He studied me and considered his answer, ‘the company has been taking on cheap uneducated labour to cut costs. The messages in the film are there purposely,’ he said.
Something made sense, cheap staff would be grateful for the inadequate conditions and would not question what was taking place. They would ignorantly accept being fed and having a bed. They would be grateful for anything they were given - but would they sacrifice their lives?

The training continued. It was interesting how often faced with an emergency most people maintained their routine. As an example one guest continued to gamble: one passenger was due a pay out from a slot machine. When rounded up for evacuation she refused to leave the one armed bandit until she won. It seemed that money was more important than life.

It was odd being fed examples of disasters. Take for example the Sun vista - a fire in the funnel resulted in the ship being evacuated. The lifeboats were not maintained and many of the lifeboat engines failed. The crew had to row the lifeboats to safety. When a ship sunk it caused a suction which could effectively pull the lifeboats down with it. That was why lifeboats and life rafts had to maintain a safe distance. Ideally at least one and a half ship’s lengths was necessary.

The Oceanus in 1991.
The Captain ordered the crew to evacuate but did not inform the passengers. Apparently he didn’t want to create a major panic. In the end the entertainment staff took responsibility and created a full scale evacuation. The emergency was initiated when the ship was hit by a huge wave which knocked a hole in the bow. The floors below flooded; above deck the passengers remained unaware. A number of guests noticed officers looking panicked heading towards the lifeboat, but since people resumed routine no one questioned what was taking place.
Admittedly the training was comprehensive but it still freaked me out that such disasters could happen to a massive cruise ship. In my time at sea I have experienced a grounding, explosions, fires, collisions and a bombing on land. Somehow we always got through… I considered everything I had experienced, I hoped that the Symmetry would be okay. Admittedly I had learned a lot in that training - if passengers acted like sheep take control and command them!

After training on how to survive a disaster I then returned to the gallery where I learned espionage. You might think I was joking but the gallery was next to the lecture theatre and the talk that day was how espionage worked. Brilliant! Could the day get better? I could unintentionally be trained on how to become a spy. How many people could say that?
Admittedly the lectures were very interesting. Although I was less enthralled by the hip replacement lecture but who knew when such information would be necessary. Hang on! Was there an agenda? Was I being subliminally trained to be a spy who did hip replacements as a decoy. Amazing!
Essentially there were three stages of espionage. The gathering of information, the analysis and the action through policy. That was the boring bit but I learned you could be tracked by mobile phone, even if you removed the battery. What’s more all your movements could be tracked over the previous two years… Somewhat freaky don’t you think?
The lecture was excellent but the ship was rolling. The Pacific was having a big wave day and the passengers were zig zagging all over the place. Some even rebounded off walls and chairs. You could often tell which guests were drunk because they were the only ones who maintained a straight line. Also, what I loved about imminent bad weather, was the sudden appearance of white bags around the ship. Obviously they were put out for potential vomit, yet the gesture was amusing. ‘Ah the bags have arrived,’ said Jose strolling past.
‘Vomitus projectilus maximus catchus,’ I said.
He glanced at me and raised an eyebrow.
In the mean time the strangest thing I saw that day was a person in a wheelchair rolling back and forth with the motion of the ship. I didn’t know whether I should get involved and put on the break. After surveying the area for potential catastrophe I came to the conclusion the guest was content. Of course the proximity of the stairs was a bit of a concern but I worked out if there was a particularly large wave I had three seconds to get to them. I think I was becoming transfixed, I had to stop looking - the motion of the chair rolling made me feel queasier than the motion of the ship.