Beneath the surface 15

After passing out at eleven thirty I woke up at six thirty. I had that sense of ‘where the Hell am I’ and sat up quickly. I soon remembered where I was when my forehead rebounded of the bunk above. Shit!
The thing with sharing a cabin is that you have to be quiet while the other person sleeps. What’s more you are in a confined space with other people’s habits. Numerous times I have been woken up by a fart from a above. Does that sound religious? I can assure it you it was far from a religious experience.
So when you share you have to be considerate and I just could not sleep, nor could I lay in a darkroom for an hour. It was most definitely time to explore! Silently I got changed into clothing I could not identify but I guessed it was sports wear and I went for a run around the deck. Some of the guests were up and about with the power-walking urge. A few ran and some did random stretches.

After ten laps I found a secluded area to practice tai chi chi kung, an energy based martial art. It enabled chi to flow around your body. When you practiced regularly it made you feel inspired and is said to help your health. I guess it can be likened to a moving meditation. Well for survival purposes - other than write the diary I had to practice chi-kung. I hoped it would keep me sane and focused. There was always hope!

After a few exercises I gazed out to the calm sea and I actually felt okay about being there. The sun was shinning and everything seemed new and fresh. I was relaxed and calm and ready to face the day. It was going to be okay - maybe tiredness had tainted my view of life before but now everything was possible.

The crew mess was bright orange and full of white tables. A long metal aisle contained numerous metal containers full of a vast array of food that you would not feed your dog unless you intended to torture it. Most of the contents I could not identify and for me if you can’t identify it don’t eat it. So with the intention of remaining healthy I opted for fruit and your standard boiled egg. Since the mess was shared with the Phillipino crew I was interested to see what the Phillipinos ate. Many a time I have studied their food choices and been amazed. That day was no different - oh how lovely… fish heads containing eyeballs and rice. What a lovely start to the day. That was not all there was either - there was a great deal I could not identify but one particular tray caught my attention. No it couldn’t be could it? They couldn’t possibly feed the crew monkey brain could they? That was precisely what it looked like.

I took a seat in the corner and watched the different crew come in and sit in groups. There were chefs in one area, waiters and waitresses in another and room stewardesses in another. Everyone looked tired and ate what they could in limited time. It fascinated me how many people were there to serve and each had to be fed. The logistics were astounding when you thought about it. I guessed if I thought about it too much I would probably do my own head in. So I thought about not thinking. A clever technique which can also do your head in!
When I arrived at work Jose and Robert studied me. “You look nice and fresh,” said Jose in a suspicious tone.
“Kind of calm and healthy,” said Robert looking me up and down.
“Thanks I went for a run on deck and did some Tai chi,” I responded.
Silence.
They glanced at each other and shook their heads in a way that meant trouble. Why had I said that I had been up on deck?
‘You’re not allowed on deck, it is passengers and officers only,’ said Robert smugly. ‘You are not an officer so you have no ‘right’ to be up on deck,’ he said sternly.
I was in shock. Why had I told them? Idiot!
‘Did anyone see you?’ asked Jose looking about awkwardly.
I shook my head, I was still trying to work out what I had done wrong.
‘So let me get this straight… I work on a ship and do not have any deck privileges? Am expected to stay below deck the whole time? What is this some kind of prison?”
Silence.
“Do I even have access to the passenger gym? I need to get this clear because I was under the impression that I could go outside. Ken had said… ’
‘Ken lied to get you here. Only officers have access to the passenger gym and as you know you are a low rank, so you have no priviledges,” said Robert. “They can’t allow the lower minions up there. Imagine how the passengers would feel running beside a potato peeler or a pot washer.’
The pair glanced at each other.
I felt my face flush red. Everything I had been told to get me there was a lie. I was on the other side of the world in a luxury prison. Since I was a mere photographer and not an Assistant Manager it seemed I was to be treated like a sheep.
‘Okay… So while we’re on the subject, I was informed that I would earn around $4000 dollars per month, be given deck privileges and various access in exchange for travel pictures… So tell me how far from the truth that is,’ I asked.
The pair shifted.
‘Another set of lies,’ said Robert shaking his head. ‘All of us have been fed the same bullshit. We were all told we would make lots of money travelling the world. The truth is you have no privileges and if you are lucky you will earn half of that per month. That is if you are lucky,’ said Robert emphatically.
I placed my hand on my stomach - a knot had formed. Sheer rage was pumping through my body but because I was in an environment of control I could not respond. Every word I had been fed was complete and utter bullshit. Where was the motivation? At that point my mind shifted, I would fulfil my intention and write the complete truth about life on board. I would put it on the blog so the world could have access to the truth as I saw it. In that moment I fantasised about the masses learning how well educated people were treated like servants to the rich. I intended to reveal everything - how the wealthy treated each other and their attitude towards the staff. Ken would get his karma as would the cruise line. It was not right and it had to be exposed! That was now my mission.